Author: ジェンナ... brauchen_dich
Rating: Hard R


It had been another round of what Raito knew to be the best sex he would have in his entire life. He was left a drained, panting, sweating pile of man. And L... Well, L was going to die soon. Raito had taken note that L was extremely weird after sex. Not just his normal analytical, creepy self. No, L actual let his guard down for a good thirty seconds during his post orgasmic state. Kira watched with child like amusement as L's eyes went from half lidded only to return to their disturbing wideness.

"Yagami-kun," L's voice was heavy, his breath still coming out in quick pants. "I have thought things over in my mind and I have come to the conclusion that I have fallen in love with you." His eyes were staring directly into Raito's as he spoke, his chest rising and falling in quick movements...

Raito could then see his life flash before his eyes--a life that ended with the two of them, weathered by time, sitting outside in a rocking chair, watching their nieces and nephews play.

Raito let out the smallest little noise of protest before he regained his composure. "Don't be silly, Ryuzaki." He said calmly, looking into his victim's eyes. He was going to rule the world. He was going to be God! 'Gay Uncle' wasn't anywhere in the picture.

"Am I ever silly, Yagami-kun?" He allowed his hand to wander to his after intercourse stash of sugar conveniently placed by Raito's bedside. Raito knew he was licking that sugar cube in a provocative manner to spite him. Still, he could feel his jaw clench both at the thought and at the pleasant imagery.

"No, but sex makes people say things they don't mean."

"We were not having intercourse when I said it." He added, sucking the cube into his mouth.

Raito flashed his award-winning smile. "No, but you were in a post euphoric state when you spoke those words."

"I assure you, Yagami-kun, I was not." L sat up; Raito could see his spine protruding from his back, his thumbnail pushed into his mouth, his eyes fixed forward. "I would appreciate it if you would not doubt my love for you. As I said, the subject has been turning over in my head for quite some time." A faint smile appeared on his lips. "I suppose you could say it was love at first sight."

"... The first time you saw me, it was on a monitor."

L's face snapped to face Raito's, it made the other boy jump. "All is far in love and war, Yagami-kun."

The younger boy felt his eyes widen slightly before closing them and rubbing his face with his palm. "I need a shower." He let out with a sigh and stood up, slipping on his pants and opening the door to head to the bathroom. He almost forgot about the chain... Almost. "Let's go."

"Raito..." L stood and slipped on his pants as well. "My confession has made you uncomfortable." He observed, his voice maintaining it's collected nature.

They clanked their way to the bathroom, Raito closed the door and the pants that were previously put on were taken off. "No," Raito began, "I just find it hard to believe." He started the shower water, sticking his hand into the stall to check the temperature.

"Please, enlighten me on your interpretation of love." They stepped into the stall together.

Of all the people who could be asking him about his thoughts on love L was the last person he'd thought of. Misa, mainly--but then he could just spit out what she wanted to hear: 'I love you too, Misa', 'After I become God, we'll marry.', 'There's no one else who can make me feel this way.'. Sure, it was trite, sure he didn't mean it, but Misa didn't need to know that. L on the other hand... L would know. Those fucking eyes were always reading him, always analyzing him.

The man's back was to him--his spine curved in that bizarre way, his hair soggy and dripping... L was many things, aesthetically pleasing wasn't the first thought that entered Raito's mind--but that curved spin, his disheveled, dark hair framing equally dark eyes made him appealing in a way only L could be appealing. The temptation was too great. He pushed L's hair to the side of his neck and buried his face in the crook. He felt L's breath hitch and his spine trying straighten itself out. "Don't you think love is all hormones, L?" Raito's hand traveled down L's stomach in teasing touches, "They fog your mind and force you to think with this--" he squeezed L's cock or emphasis and the man let out the most interesting noise. "Instead of this." Raito's free hand threaded fingers through the think hair attached to L's skull, giving it a slight tug. He smiled at the sound of L's gasp, the feeling of L hardening in his hand... The brunette's his hand tugged gently at the flesh there, a bitter contrast to his rough hair pulling. It was funny how much power he really had over the other man. "Love is a figment of the imagination. It's a charade and none of the feelings are logical." His lips traveled along the curve L's neckline to pause at the shell of his ear. "It's an emotion concocted to make the human race feel less alone, don't you think so too?"

He felt his control slip in the slightest when L's body twisted around, the other man's weight crushing him against the shower wall. He felt the shock travel down his spine and before he could gain the upper hand, L's own hand was around Raito's cock. L's stare was heavy--almost predatory as their lips and teeth crashed together in the struggle for dominance. Raito let a low moan escape from his throat as L's grip tightened, his concentration breaking and ultimately costing him the fight. L's body wasn't soft or hard pressed against his own solid frame. However, the feeling of the dark haired man's body against his own felt better than Misa's feminine curves ever would. L's frame was slick from the water and Raito was thankful because L lacked cushion. The man was bony, for lack of a better term. Being sandwiched harshly between a wall and a lanky man was uncomfortable, but certainly not unwelcome. L's fingers and mouth dulled the pain of bruises beneath the skin of his back.

L pulled away, breaking the kiss. Raito stared back at the man, his face obscured by his dark hair. Honestly, L's hair stuck to his face and covered his eyes unless he brushed it aside, which he rarely chose to do. "My mind is sharp, Yagami-kun. I won't allow you to forget that fact." He retorted against Raito's lips. "Now, let me tell you how I feel about love."

"Please do." Raito's hand gave a challenging tug, egging his elder on. A small sound came from L's lips before Raito felt his hand being pulled away. L had him pinned against the shower wall now, hands against the warm tile. He wouldn't struggle, in fact, he was intent on listening to L's next words.

"Yagami-kun, you cause my heart to palpitate." He took a deep breath. "I find that I do not grow annoyed with you like I do with others--no, I'm quite fond of you as a human being." L's eyes were still wide as he spoke, despite all of the water dousing both of them. "I enjoy having you around, you make me feel less alone." He emphasized with his voice, persisting with his body that he would meld with the other boy if he could.

Raito's eyes traveled to the cuffs. "I can see that." What was thing nagging feeling in his mind telling him L was above love, above feeling? L had expressed his feelings of friendship toward Raito--even Misa--in a manner that had shocked the both of them. How was it a man so clever to cover himself when needed, left himself so open emotionally to those around him? L was an enigma... That trait initially seduced Raito and made him stay. The idea of L being 'in love' with him made him drunk with power. He's waited for this moment, but at the same time... It left a bitter taste in his mouth.

L was suppose to be an opponent, a worthy advisory. Intelligence, power, skill--almost equal in every way. Almost. Love was an emotion Raito never understood nor felt. While Raito knew L was weaker than himself, while Raito knew he would conquer L. Raito knew he would fight trying to stifle his joy and laughter as his friend lay breathing his last breath. L would be dead, L would no longer feel emotions like love or hatred. In Raito's eyes, the man would be perfect then.

He just might love L after L was a cold, lifeless corpse.

"I know what you're thinking, Yagami-kun." L's eyes pierced him again, it made him nervous on the inside be he maintained his calm stature. "Love hasn't made me weak. It never will." He finished his statement with an eerie detachment, as if he were talking to himself. "If you really are Kira, I'll make sure justice is brought upon you."

Why do you leave your emotions out like laundry drying in the fucking breeze?!

"I don't expect you to say it back." L added, releasing his hands. "If you did, there would be an almost certain chance that you'd be lying." That thumb traveled between his lips. "So, please don't lie to me, Yagami-kun." L's voice was softened by the shower, almost silent.

Raito decided his actions would speak louder than his words ever could. He pried L's digit from his mouth, a practiced skill, and claimed the other man's thin lips in soft kiss that melted into something deeper between lips, teeth and tongues, Raito gave himself over to the sensation of L's mouth upon his on. It was warm and hot and even though L's kissing was about as awkward as the man himself was, it was the best he'd ever had. His elder devoured his lips as if they were the sweetest candy and Raito didn't mind, in fact, he'd chuckled the first few times the man had kissed him. It was desperate and contained no technique, 'not very becoming when reflecting L's character', Raito thought to himself. Then again, a lot of what L did was unbecoming of his character.

He found he couldn't get the grainy taste of sugar out of his mouth even after their kissing had come to an abrupt end. L sank to his knees quickly in a strangely fluid movement, he grasped Raito's erection in his palm and began pumping, allowing the heat from L's thin fingers bring him to a fully erect state. Meanwhile, Raito's chin was pressed heavily upon the start of his chest. The pressure felt good, everything felt good. He wondered in the back of his mind how a man with such thin, long fingers could splay them just the right way and cause his body to react in such a dramatic way. He let out a breathy moan as L stroked him harder, not faster like Raito had wanted, but he arched his back off the shower wall hoping L would get the idea. L, the genius he was, did something better and began teasing Raito's need with his tongue.

L's tongue worked wonders when he wasn't torturing the brunette. It lapped at the underside of his cock, circled the sensitive head... Raito could put up with all the sweets L consumed--as long as he kept this up. As long as he didn't stop. He felt himself arch his back further from the wall wanting nothing but to thrust inside his enemy's mouth. L took pity on him, engulfing the boy with his hot mouth. The bitter contrast of now lukewarm water and the heat of L's mouth was astounding. Raito could no longer hold back his noises. He found his fingers fisted in L's hair once more, encouraging him to hurry, encouraging him to suck harder--anything to draw out the pleasure coursing through his veins in a rhythm that L chose. Watching that strange man's head bob back and forth, feeling his lips drag along his skin...

The action had to be a form of worship.

This would be one of the few times he would miss L after Kira had defeated him.

He could feel his fingers tightening in L's dripping locks before he felt L retort with fingernails digging into the flesh of his upper thigh. Raito choked out a moan as his partner's nails broke his human tissue. "L..." He whispered the name as a warning. L responded by swallowing around his cock, causing Raito's knees to buck, causing Raito's groan to echo in the small bathroom, causing Raito's hands to release L's hair in hopes of grasping something--anything to keep his balance. He found the bar on the side of the stall most fitting. His vision tunneled again as L's throat closed around him. He wanted to thrust--he wanted to thrust more than anything--but the idea of L biting down, shocked from the sudden movement, overpowered the urge.

L really was such a selfless lover.

"More--" The cut off command was obeyed almost instantly. L's tongue swirled around him at an almost frantic rate before L's throat tightened again and again without warning. Raito's head swam as he no longer held back--with one hand embedded into L's dark hair, he allowed himself to thrust once. As expected L's teeth nearly crashed down upon his erection, but the tightness pulled him over the edge and he came with loud moan, releasing L's hair in the process. The older man drew back coughing.

After the waves of his orgasm raked through his body he stared down at the heap of bones that was L with half lidded eyes. He noted how each cough shook the almost fragile body.

You make me feel less alone. The words resounded in his head. And Raito thought he spat out trite.

Raito's hand reached for the faucet, turning off the rapidly chilling water. His breathing was still somewhat erratic as he sat himself against the side of the stall in hopes of gaining control. L had decided to sit next to him after his coughing fit had come to a close. Raito noted that L was still painfully hard. He smiled, reaching into L's lap with his fingers extended, groping and finally finding. His fingers curled into a fist, pulling and tugging noises from the man who'd said he'd loved him.

If Raito ever doubted a man could be completely hard just by giving, he had yet to meet L.

"I thought this was suppose to be purely sexual." Raito murmured against the slick skin of L's neck, pulling his fingers from a fist and using a single digit to circle teasingly along the head of L's need.

L ignored him, wrapping his arms around Raito's own neck so he could pull the other boy closer. He could feel L stiffen and shake in his arms. He was going to come soon and while the brunette wanted to prolong this sweet torture for L in so many different ways, it'd best to play the innocent role--as usual--and give the dark haired man what he wanted. He curled his fingers back into a tight tunnel and allowed L to thrust to his completion. The noise was weakness, it was amazing and it overwhelmed Raito's senses... It was a sob of relief that shook the thin frame against him.

He turned the faucet back on and rinsed off his hand waiting for L to rinse off anything else aside from water coating his body. They stood up, Raito felt as the blood rush from his head to fill the rest of his body, causing him to waver slightly. L used the shower head to cleanse himself. Both stepped out in silence. They toweled off, dressed in the pants they arrived in, brushed their teeth and walked back into Raito's room.

Raito slipped under his blankets while L chose to sit in front of his computer.

"You should sleep, at least for an hour or two." The younger offered even though he knew the offer would be politely refused.

"Dictionary.com has twenty-eight definitions and references for the word 'love', Yagami--"

"Are you still going on about that? I thought our primary concern was the Kira case." Raito had the urge to cover his cuffed 'friend' with a pillow during one of his freaky sitting-up naps. Wouldn't that be nice? Just getting rid of him the old fashioned way? Still, things might look mildly suspicious if he met up with the investigation team the next morning and he had a cadaver in the form of their beloved L attached to him by a chain. This fucking chain.

"Let's take a look at one through three. I feel they are most fitting." L's thumb was reunited with his lip as he smiled. "One: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person." He paused for a moment. Raito rolled his eyes. "Two: a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend."

Raito wasn't sure why L continued with this form of torture--even now, after all they'd discussed about love, the word felt disgusting on L's lips. This was torture--maybe he was trying to break him down by some sick form of love-mind fucking. Yeah, that had to be it. He clenched his teeth through his jaw as L read on.

"Three: sexual passion or desire." Passion and desire leaving L's lips sounded bizarre as well. Not in the same sense, but it made Raito's stomach crawl slightly. He turned to face Raito before opening his mouth. Raito wanted to punch him. "It is my belief that both Misa-san and I feel a strong attachment to number one." His voice dropped to an almost whisper. "It is also my belief that I fit the role of number two because you are my very first friend, Yagami-kun." Raito disliked the way L repeated himself. He watched as L turned back to face his computer. "And role three suits myself as well." His toes wiggled in happiness his smile growing.

Yeah, Raito wanted to punch him. But for now, thinking of L's death would do... Maybe he'd punch him tomorrow after another Kira accusation. He was tired, he was tired of fighting. If Misa was at his side, L was at his front, his back and his other side. Raito knew there was no use arguing with the older man. He'd never confess to something that wasn't there. L knew that, Raito knew that.

"I win by default." He thought he heard L murmur.

Their relationship was dysfunctional enough. That was Raito's last coherent thought before he fell asleep.